Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Randomize
