he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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