I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
