remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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