break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
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