i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I need water and some morals
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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