oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
