No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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