Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
