i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
only you would photoshop your dick
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
