I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
