I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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