we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i think i have two assholes
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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