my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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