Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
