I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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