Your mouth is God's brothel.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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