i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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