Do you still have your period?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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