Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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