We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
