if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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