Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
