I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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