I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
