apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
