so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
