did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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