i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize