I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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