Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
