do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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