How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
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I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
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I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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