fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
