I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
nutella sex= disaster
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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