Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
The Olympian is in my bed
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
