you turned your livingroom into a bong?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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