Your dad touched me again.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
