im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
