we're blogging at a bar
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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