In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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