Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
