ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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