In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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