just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
