I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
