ya dads aren't the best wingmen
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
one might say we're banned from that church
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
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