i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
