Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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