I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
