oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
