when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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