I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
someone owes me an orgasm
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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