So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
