Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
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