I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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