did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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