just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
