No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
So I just went to clothing optional bar
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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