I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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