Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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