One girl and one boy is just not enough.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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